One Day
by LittleKnux2008
Summary: She sits by his infirmary bed, as always, waiting for a sign that he'll be okay. And as soon as she gets it, she leaves...and he'll never know. [McKayWeir]
1. One Day

**Author's Note: **A result of procrastinating homework at ten o'clock at night. :) Short little thing; I might do another 'chapter' with Carson's thoughts and Rodney's, but I don't know. Anyway, hope ya like. Please review!  
**Disclaimer: **I own two Atlantis posters and that's about as close as I come to owning the characters.  
**Warning: **Written while on NyQuil and a result of evil Geometry homework. Also unbetaed.

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_One Day_

Every time a team went through the 'gate, there was a risk that they wouldn't be returning. Against all odds, most of them did. Elizabeth Weir smiled sadly as she brushed her hand across Rodney McKay's burning forehead. He was lying in one of the many hospital beds; his face flushed and his body motionless. She sighed softly, glancing at the heart monitor as if to reassure herself that he really was okay. _'It could've been worse,' _she reminded herself of all of the expedition members who hadn't returned through the 'gate.

Rodney and the rest of AR-1 had left on a mission to a planet named Regalus to establish trade, only to find that the entire civilization on the planet was in the middle of a horrifying plague. Once they'd found out, the team had gotten home as quickly as possible. _'But not soon enough,' _Elizabeth thought grimly as she looked at Rodney. Still, it was better than to be expected.. Out of the four, Rodney was the only one to catch it. Elizabeth bit back the self-indulgent, immature feeling that she'd rather John, Aiden or Teyla fall victim to the sickness.

She sighed softly, resting her hand in his motionless one. Carson and the medical staff had been working for almost a week with little sleep so they could find a cure. When they realized how much damage the disease was doing to Rodney's immune system, they had decided to test the new drug immediately on Rodney, for fear of a recovery becoming non-existent due to the extensive damage on his immune system.

Elizabeth squeezed his hand softly. If this drug worked…they would be able to save hundreds of lives on Regalus. _'C'mon, Rodney,' _she encouraged mentally. It would be wonderful to save those lives, but here and now, she just wanted Rodney to be okay. It didn't matter to her in this moment that this drug could save hundreds of people.

Right now, all it needed to save was Rodney. She leaned back in her chair and looked around the drab area. _'How many hours have I spent here?' _she wondered, but she wasn't referring to the infirmary itself. Her eyes returned to Rodney, and she blinked hurriedly to push the building tears away. A soft, pained laugh escaped her lips as she thought of how many times he had been in this hospital bed--and how many times she had been sitting in the chair next to him. The faint, optimistic smile on Elizabeth's face wavered. She could recall countless times when she was in the same situation. Rodney, lying unconscious, and she, holding his hand and waiting for the briefest flicker of life behind his eyelids. And once it came…she fled.

Elizabeth bowed her head, allowing a mask of hair to cover her face, lest any medical personnel pass her. She felt horrible each time she left him. What must it feel like, she wondered, to wake up to no one? Elizabeth swallowed tightly. It wasn't her place. She had other duties to attend to. _'But that's not the real reason, is it?' _she questioned herself, and knew it wasn't. She was worried. If Rodney woke up, what would he think? What would everyone else think? Elizabeth thought of the unexplainable look in Carson's eyes every time he saw her at Rodney's bedside. It was as if he knew something that she didn't.

'_No one would understand,' _Elizabeth sighed to herself, threading her fingers through Rodney's as she looked over at him. How could they, when she couldn't even begin to understand it herself? How could they understand the sudden clamminess in her hands when he was carried through the 'gate harmed; how could they understand the urge she had to remain with him until she was sure he was okay? She sighed softly, resting her chin on top of their hands, simply watching him. A faded smile appeared on her face as she speculated that this was the first real sleep he'd gotten in months.

"Mmm…" a low groan from Rodney jerked her to attention. She lifted her head, staring down at him. His eyes moved beneath his eyelids as he slowly began to regain consciousness. Elizabeth smiled sadly as she pulled her hand away from his.

"Carson, he's waking up," she called softly, and heard the quick steps of the Scottish doctor toward her. "He's gonna be okay," Elizabeth stated aloud as Carson glanced toward the various machines hooked up to Rodney's body. Her joy at knowing he would be okay crumbled when the realization that she would have to leave came.

Carson turned to her, again with that unexplainable look in his eye. "Ay, that he is," he confirmed, smiling with relief. Elizabeth nodded as she stood up and turned away from Rodney; walking toward the exit. Back toward Carson, she couldn't see the sorrowful look in the Scot's eyes as he watched her go. Her footsteps stopped, and, though mentally berating herself even as she did so, she turned and looked at Rodney. Her gaze caught Rodney just as his hand closed; looking to grasp another hand that wasn't there. Tears blurred her vision and she turned and walked away, each click of her shoes on the floor a stab to her heart.

One day she would find the courage to stay.

One day.


	2. Someday

Carson Beckett glanced up from the form he was reading, setting the clipboard on his cluttered desk. Sighing heavily, he rubbed his temples with one hand and glanced up at his most recent patient: Rodney McKay. _'If I had but a nickel for every time he was here…' _Carson thought to himself, a sad smile on his face. He'd been working on a cure for the virus inside of the other man for a week with hardly any sleep, and the stress was catching up to him. _'If it works, it'll be worth it,' _Carson reflected, not daring to hope. Rodney's pale skin was covered in a sheen of sweat, his body motionless other than the rise and fall of his chest. As he watched Rodney, Carson's eyes fell on Elizabeth Weir. She was leaning over, her elbow propped up on her thigh, her hand supporting her cheek and her other hand resting on top of Rodney's. Her eyes betrayed her sadness, and for once she looked like the weary leader that she was.

He'd become accustomed to her presence in the infirmary long ago. She would come and sit next to the patient's beside in silence, waiting. It seemed like whenever he saw her she was always waiting. Waiting for someone to explain, waiting for her people to return, waiting for good news… She was always waiting, her back up straight, and her eyes drilling through the person as if that would bring the answer quicker. But when she sat here there was something different in her. Carson had been stumped by the soft sadness swirling about her eyes until her infirmary visits had become routine enough for him to notice that she only visited one person: Rodney McKay.

Carson smiled slightly. He doubted she even realized it – but he saw it. He saw in her eyes every time she walked in and saw him in that hospital bed; he saw it in her fingers resting on top of his immobile ones; it was hard _not_ to see it anymore. Carson picked up his clipboard again and stared at it feebly, but it was no use trying to concentrate when his best friend was toeing the line between life and death...again.

"Mmm…" Carson's eyes snapped to the bed at the low moan from Rodney. He could see Elizabeth's shoulders tense as she straightened before she glanced in his direction.

"Carson, he's waking up," she said softly. Carson stood and walked hurriedly over toward the bed, his eyes sweeping the heart monitor next to Rodney for a moment. "He's gonna be okay," Elizabeth said, her voice but a whisper. Carson looked over toward Elizabeth and his heart immediately went out to the woman. The joy was in her eyes, but the sadness was there; even stronger now.

"Ay, that he is," he confirmed, looking down at Rodney with relief in his voice. He'd been worried that Rodney wouldn't make it. Elizabeth stood up, distracting Carson from his thoughts. She turned away before he could catch her eyes and began to walk toward the hallway. Her shoulders were slumped slightly, her head hanging. Her steps slowed and she took one look back. Carson, studying her expression, saw the briefest crack in her mask before she looked away, the first of her salty tears falling down her cheeks. Elizabeth's steps were hurried as she walked away, her hands clenched at her sides.

Carson couldn't help the pitying look that claimed his face. _'Poor lass…_' For a long moment, he caught himself wondering what drove her to do this to herself. What drove her to leave every time? That anguish in her eyes… No one would do that to themselves without a reason. He wondered what hers was.

Rodney coughed slightly, his head lolling to one side as Carson looked back at him. He smiled as Rodney slowly regained consciousness. "Take it easy," he murmured softly. Rodney's eyes opened, wincing at the bright light.

"Where am I?"

"The imfirmary, lad," Carson supplied, chuckling slightly. Rodney nodded. "Can ye move yer toes?" Rodney wiggled them, "Yer fingers?" Rodney made a fist. "Ay, you're going to be fine, McKay," Carson told him. "Are you feeling any significant pain anywhere else?"

"Not really," Rodney croaked. Carson smiled, knowing full well that the other man must feel like he got run over by a truck, but he was far too weak to launch into a long tirade about the incompetence of medicine. Carson made a mental note to monitor the morphine doses and began to walk away when Rodney's voice stopped him.

"Who was here?" Carson turned at the unusual softness in the other man's voice. Rodney was staring at the chair where Elizabeth Weir had been sitting, his eyes still holding a slight glaze to them.

"It's…not my place to say," Carson replied, wishing that he could tell Rodney. Whenever Rodney woke up, he was always alone – sans the medical staff, of course. Carson felt a cold feeling in his stomach as he thought of what it would be like to wake up to no one. What would that say to a person? 'Sorry, no one cares enough to stay next to you'… Carson wondered how Rodney knew that someone had been there. He hoped to God that Rodney had the same suspicion during all of his other visits where Elizabeth had been. It was inhumane; it was, to make someone wake up to this sterile lab without a friendly face in sight. Carson did not doubt his friendship to Rodney, but he was a doctor first.

Rodney moved his head so that his pleading gaze fell on Carson. Carson looked away, his heart burdened by guilt. Elizabeth had not said a word about keeping her visits secret, but it had been something that didn't need to be said. If she disappeared every time before he woke up, it was obvious she didn't want him to know. "It's their place to tell you," Carson said, his voice weak. He hoped for Rodney's sake that it was soon. As tough and insensitive as Rodney acted, he cared – perhaps far too much. Carson ran a hand over his head as he walked back to his desk to grab his clipboard, knowing full well Rodney would be well on his way to napping by the time he returned.

Someday Rodney would know who had warmed the seat beside him. Someday Elizabeth would realize what it was that made her continue to push this anguish upon herself and Rodney. Someday she would overcome it.

Someday.

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**Author's Note: **Well, I did the second part! Hope you guys liked! May do a Rodney "POV" to wrap it up, but I'm not sure. Anyway, feedback is welcome! 

**Thanks to **_Shippie, JamSack, Fanwoman, Porthos1013, Estellio, Margaret, aaobuttons _and _PurpleYin_ **for the wonderful reviews!**


	3. Today

Elizabeth had often entertained the thought of logging the hours Rodney spent in the infirmary. It had been just three weeks since he'd been given the cure to the virus from Regalus and he was already lying unconscious on the bed closest to Carson's office. It was an impressive feat, considering he'd been on bed-rest for the first week.

On a recent recon mission to a planet on the outskirts of the Pegasus Galaxy, AR-1 had stumbled across an emphatically religious civilization that worshipped the Ancients. Rodney, bored with the technologically inferior people, had made a snide comment about the former inhabitants of Atlantis. A four-mile sprint later, AR-1 stepped into the 'gate room. All of them were sent to the infirmary immediately. Teyla and Aiden had escaped with minimal scratches from foliage, but John had received a surprisingly deep cut on his forearm. Rodney had been hurt the worst. One of the natives had managed to shoot him while they were running, sending an arrow straight into Rodney's upper back. It was embedded dangerously close to his spinal cord, but Carson had been able to remove it without incurring any more damage. For the moment, Rodney was unconscious, recovering from the surgery.

Elizabeth sighed, shifting in the chair. She had hundreds of other things to attend to, but she couldn't bring herself to leave Rodney's bedside. Sighing, she leaned forward, resting her forearms on the bedrails. Rodney was bound to wake up soon, she told herself. There would be plenty of time to do work after that.

She reached out and took his hand in hers, squeezing it gently. It was physical barrier she would cross only at times like these, when he was none the wiser. Their friendship was so dear to her; she didn't want to ruin it with the inexplicable want for something more; that odd longing that had been plaguing her lately.

"Elizabeth?"

Carson's voice startled her out of her reverie. She turned to see him standing next to her, holding a cup of steaming coffee in her direction.

"I thought you might need some," he informed her with a small smile.

Elizabeth grinned back. "Thanks," she told him, cautiously taking the cup with both hands. Her eyes moved back to Rodney as she blew gently on the liquid.

Carson began to walk away, but then stopped, turning toward her. "Listen, Elizabeth… I don't mean to pry, but… Why on Earth do you not jiss stay once he starts waking up?"

Her eyes darted away for a brief moment before she replied, her voice soft. "He doesn't need to know that I worry."

Carson pursed his lips. "If you really wanted what's best for him, lass, you'd stay," he said simply, holding her gaze for long minute before turning and heading back into his office.

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There were only a few droplets of coffee left in her cup when Rodney began to regain consciousness. She immediately straightened in her seat, her eyes moving back to him.

"Carson, he's awake," she said aloud, sending a quick glance to his office before returning her attention to Rodney. A ghost of a smile claimed her face as she watched his eyelids flutter.

It was time for her to go.

She stood quietly, but Carson noticed her movement. Their eyes met briefly, and Elizabeth felt her stomach sink. His gaze had been full of an emotion more hurtful than anger: disappointment. Swallowing tightly, she turned away from him and walked toward the exit of the infirmary.

_He doesn't understand, _Elizabeth thought, pursing her lips tightly. She stopped briefly at the exit, her gaze settling on Rodney's bed. A stab of shame ran through her when she realized that it was just Rodney and Carson in the infirmary. They were friends, close friends, but Carson was Rodney's doctor first and foremost. Rodney would be waking up alone…again.

She thought about Carson's words to her earlier, and her nerves pulsed with anxious indecision. Maybe Carson understood more than she gave him credit for. Maybe he understood this more than she did.

Her irrational fears pulled at her, but she ignored them, looking at the situation with a clear mind. Rodney was her _friend. _Her closest friend. Why wouldn't she be there for him?

She hated admitting that sometimes she pondered about being more than friends. She hated how the idle positive thoughts about Rodney that struck her during their conversations hovered in her mind for hours. She hated how his comforting assurances seemed so much more genuine than everyone else's.

But mostly, she hated herself for being so illogical about the situation. So she had feelings for her best friend. That didn't mean she had the right to come to his bedside, wait until she got what she wanted – a sign that he was going to be okay – and then leave.

Elizabeth didn't know where her feelings would take their relationship. She didn't know if he felt the same way. She didn't know if they'd be friends forever and nothing more. She didn't know if these new emotions would ruin their friendship.

But she knew she cared for him, and it was about time she showed it.

Elizabeth tossed her empty cup into the garbage receptacle by the door before walking back toward Carson, determined. She met the doctor's eyes only briefly, missing the small grin on his face when she sat down. Without the smallest ounce of uncertainty, she reached forward and grasped Rodney's hand with both of her own. She squeezed it gently and couldn't help but smile when her gesture was returned.

Rodney opened his eyes and immediately winced at the bright light. When they finally adjusted, his gaze turned to Elizabeth. "'Lizabeth?" he murmured weakly.

"I'm here," she told him, smiling softly. And as Carson assessed Rodney's condition, she silently promised herself that, from here on out, she would be here for him.

Always.

When she left the infirmary, there was a smile on her face, and a blue-eyed scientist in the wheelchair in front of her. For the first time in weeks, the cold knot in her stomach had dissipated and she felt truly content. Today, Rodney's fears were alleviated and he shared in her happiness.

Today.

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**Author's Note: **It's finally done! This is the last part in this little ficlet. Thanks be to all of you who stuck with me on this one, and to Fifi for the wonderful beta, as usual. I'm really trying to finish up all the old WIPs! (And, by the way, a little fact that amused me: Rodney has a total of four lines in this entire little story. Really. Go look. Count. Be amazed. Lol) I hope you guys enjoyed this. :)


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